InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "kiss my grits"

harvey "third eye" hartell jr (third_eye) wrote,
@ 2009-07-02 21:49:00

[Journal of Harvey Hartell, Jr.]

Kind of depressing, not having anything to do on the 4th of July.

Ah, well. Hopefully the sound of fireworks will keep me up late enough to finish Thunder at Twilight; one can never over prepare for a course, really, especially when said course is European history (and when the reading material is so interesting!).

[Journal of Third Eye.]

WHY IS IT THAT THERE ARE SO FEW CRIMES COMMITTED ON THE FOURTH OF JULY? IS IT THAT VILLAINS ARE SPENDING TIME WITH THEIR FAMILIES? BURGLARS CAN'T BE BOTHERED TO DITCH A BARBECUE IN FAVOR OF A BANK HEIST? IT WOULD BE TOUCHING (OR SOMETHING) IF IT WEREN'T SO... WEIRD. YOU'D THINK THAT ANY SMART VILLAIN WOULD CAPITALIZE ON THE FACT THAT THERE ARE FIREWORKS TO MASK THE SOUNDS OF EXPLOSIONS AND DO A BIT OF BUSINESS WHILE THE REST OF THE COUNTRY IS GORGING ON HOT DOGS AND BADLY BREWED BEER.

SOMEONE REALLY OUGHT TO CHANGE THINGS UP THIS YEAR.

Hahaha just kidding, like hell am I doing anything on Independence Day. Have to keep you heroes on your toes and what have you. I was thinking of watching the fireworks from HQ, but then I figured that ~~I like you more~~ a loser like you wouldn't have much to do and deserves the charity of someone kind as myself. Popcorn and Bruce Lee movies?

(Post a new comment)

	Fraud/Third fraudborn 2009-07-03 03:02 am UTC (link)
	I kinda, sorta... you know.... I got fucking roped into going to the block picnic. You know, my mom she's all, wanting to show off the pride and joy of the family now that I'm all, like. Official, and shit. I can make it to your place for dinner, though? p.s. What's up with the all-caps thing you always go. It creeps the hell out of me. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	Fraud/Third third_eye 2009-07-03 03:06 am UTC (link)
	~~...what~~ Oh! Well, that's fine, then. Spending time with the family is pretty important. Especially since you're a big bad superhero now, har. Yeah, sure, drop by if you like. (It's supposed to be creepy, moron.) (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Fraud/Third

fraudborn
2009-07-03 03:09 am UTC (link)

Oh, shut the fuck up. It's not like I wanna go. I'll probably just go in costume and wave and bit and kiss some babies or whatever the hell heroes do at those sorts of things. I'll come over as soon as possible, though, promise. Don't you dare start on Way of the Dragon without me, I'll never forgive you.

Of course I like.

(Well you're doing a good job of it. Spot-on.)

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Fraud/Third

third_eye
2009-07-03 03:12 am UTC (link)

What? I'm being supportive. And honestly, your costume is really not good for baby-kissing, mostly because it still looks pretty villainous and - well, babies. Scare easily, or so I'm told. I make no promises on Way of the Dragon, but I'll do my best to restrain myself. Honestly, though, I can't really tell them apart, so...

Well, just making sure.

(Thanks. I'm good at what I do.)

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Fraud/Third

fraudborn
2009-07-03 03:15 am UTC (link)

I took those spikes off the gloves. I'm not really sure what else is expected. I don't have the tone for spandex.

Hint: It's usually the one with the dragon on the fro... oh what am I saying. Well, just save some for me? Please?

I'll bring whatever leftover cake my mum makes. I'l even mention it's for you so she'll throw like brownies in or something extra.

(You never use your villaining voice with me. Like, ever, I don't think.)

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Fraud/Third

third_eye
2009-07-03 03:19 am UTC (link)

Speaking of which, you really need to get a gym membership or something. Non-speedster heroes are not supposed to be that scrawny. Just sayin'.

Like I can/will watch all of them. In one sitting, even. Unless you show up on the 5th, there's going to be some left.

Tart, maybe? Your mom makes the best tart. I mean - don't make her go out of her way to make it, but if there happens to be some, I wouldn't be adverse to taking it off her hands for her.

(Yeah, because I don't actively antagonize you. Well, I mean, I do, but not in a villain-y capacity. Why, do you want me to use my villaining voice with you?)

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Fraud/Third fraudborn 2009-07-03 03:28 am UTC (link)
	I'm a lean acrobatic type. Muscle just slows me down. Like you're one to talk. If you want tart I'll have her make you tart. She loves you, man. (just... Idk. It could be hot, I guess.) (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Fraud/Third

third_eye
2009-07-03 03:35 am UTC (link)

Mmhm. Scrawny. And don't try to pin this on me. For starters, I eat way better than you do. Anyways, I'm a villain, and a strategist at that. I hardly ever have to leave the house. I'm never photographed. You, on the other hand, are soon to have your scrawny physique on lunch boxes.

I bring out the maternal instinct in people for some reason. Must be my boyish charm and dazzling good looks.

(....you are the weirdest person I know.)

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Fraud/Third fraudborn 2009-07-03 03:41 am UTC (link)
	... Lunchboxes? Really? I didn't know that was part of the package. Like I know somebodys coming to the picnic to take some pictures of me but still. I think she just wants you to say good things about her to your dad. God knows all she's going to do is quiz me about him. (stuff it mr pull-my-hair-please. ... Not that I'm complaining, mind.) (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Fraud/Third

third_eye
2009-07-03 03:45 am UTC (link)

I don't know, I'm postulating. The Battalion has a merchandising line, right? Corporate backer or something? You're going to be doing Cool Whip commercials before you know it.

Can we please pretend that your mom adores me independent of the fact that I'm my father's son? My sanity and gag reflex depend on it.

(That's a perfectly legitimate kink. The villaining voice, on the other hand, is meant to inspire fear in the hearts of the innocent (or something along those lines), not bone-melting orgasms.)

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Fraud/Third fraudborn 2009-07-03 03:51 am UTC (link)
	I think there's some sort of cologne with my name on it, yeah... But lunchboxes? Do kids even use those anymore? Dude if I mention you to her she will immediately want you over for dinner (Given my history of Delicate Times in a Boys Life, you're lucky that I'm not ~~really~~ into villain/henchman shit. Suck on that mr psych major.) (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Fraud/Third third_eye 2009-07-03 04:01 am UTC (link)
	Wait. Cologne? Essence of Fraudborn? What is that - fabric softener and pizza? Actually, I'd love to come over for dinner. Your mom's an amazing cook. (False Hunter was approximately a million years old when you worked for him. That is too many levels of creepy for me to process right now. Anyways, there are better things I could be sucking on.) (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Fraud/Third fraudborn 2009-07-03 10:43 pm UTC (link)
	Play nice ~~probably~~. I don't really know-- I've never smelt it. I just signed some papers. Then I gotta sit through a whole evening of her talking about embarrassing henching stories, Junior. (Like what? also, he assured me often, that back in the day, he was quite a catch. Often.) (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Fraud/Third third_eye 2009-07-03 10:49 pm UTC (link)
	If I bought it and used it, would that create some kind of rift in the space-time continuum every time we were in a room together? I like embarrassing henching stories. Not so much with the Junior, though. (Dunno, it's pretty hot. A popsicle would be nice. I. Do not. Want. To know. At all.) (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Fraud/Third fraudborn 2009-07-03 10:56 pm UTC (link)
	Yes. Also: I'd be making out with myself. Which is weird. ... And kinda hot. ....... I'll bring some by, k? Like 90% of my embarrassing henching stories are embarrassing Junior stories too, dude. I only did like 5 jobs before I had to babysit you. (Way to burst a guy's bubble. Embarrassing henching stories.) (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Fraud/Third third_eye 2009-07-03 11:00 pm UTC (link)
	You're the worst. At least I have the excuse of youth and blindness and, I don't know, being an adorable fucking kid. (Whatever do you mean? Pedophilia.) (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Fraud/Third fraudborn 2009-07-03 11:21 pm UTC (link)
	There are worser! You were not adorable at all, I say this as someone who could see what the fuck you were doing. You were just annoying. (No implications here, nope! Hey, you're evil. You can't pick the degree of evil.) (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Fraud/Third third_eye 2009-07-03 11:26 pm UTC (link)
	In the grand scheme of things, yes. In the realm of people I know and voluntarily associate with, you're pretty much the worst. Somebody sounds bitter. (I resent that.) (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Fraud/Third fraudborn 2009-07-03 11:34 pm UTC (link)
	Don't you know White Thunder, who totally wants to create a new meta master race? Cause I know him and we pretty much know the same people. Come on, it's not like it was all sunshine and roses for you either. I was a total douche back then. (The lack of implications or grouping you with pedophiles?) (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Fraud/Third third_eye 2009-07-03 11:41 pm UTC (link)
	Worse than him. He's actually a very talented painter. What do you mean, "back then?" (The pedophilia thing. I'm perfectly fine with you not getting any.) (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Fraud/Third fraudborn 2009-07-03 11:44 pm UTC (link)
	.... Dude you just said I was a worse person than someone who routinely applauds mass-level genocide. I think this warrants a :( Bitch. (Maybe I would get some, if I were like 11.) (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Fraud/Third third_eye 2009-07-03 11:47 pm UTC (link)
	:( away. I will admit that you're a little bit better. You've stopped making blind jokes (to my face), anyways. (And now you're not getting any for at least the next week.) (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Fraud/Third fraudborn 2009-07-03 11:49 pm UTC (link)
	:( :( :( I think I just made one like five comments ago. Or at least I tried to. Maybe I'm just running out of material. You've been able to see for like, a while. ( :( ) (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Fraud/Third third_eye 2009-07-03 11:51 pm UTC (link)
	That's a little excessive. In that case, I retract that statement about your improving worth as a person. Douche. (Your fault.) (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Fraud/Third fraudborn 2009-07-03 11:53 pm UTC (link)
	:( one more for good luck. If I'm a douche, at least I see pussy, enema-man. Holy shit I just came up with a whole new villain name for you!! (Even if I dress up as a naughty schoolboy and/or call you Daddy?) (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Fraud/Third third_eye 2009-07-03 11:56 pm UTC (link)
	Aaand now I'm not talking to you for at least the next week. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Fraud/Third fraudborn 2009-07-03 11:57 pm UTC (link)
	Oh come onnnnn, Third!! I... I love you. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Fraud/Third third_eye 2009-07-04 12:04 am UTC (link)
	...I should really not forgive you just for saying that. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Fraud/Third fraudborn 2009-07-04 12:07 am UTC (link)
	I love you so much. Like. Width and depth and height of mountains and oceans and shit. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Fraud/Third third_eye 2009-07-04 12:10 am UTC (link)
	1. You really shouldn't use this as a weapon. 2. Mountains and oceans and shit? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Fraud/Third fraudborn 2009-07-04 12:11 am UTC (link)
	so. fucking. much. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Fraud/Third third_eye 2009-07-04 12:16 am UTC (link)
	I love you too, Fraud. Sometimes against my better judgement. Still not talking to you, though. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Fraud/Third fraudborn 2009-07-04 12:18 am UTC (link)
	goddammit i thought that was supposed to be INFALLIBLE (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Fraud/Third third_eye 2009-07-04 12:21 am UTC (link)
	I might blow you. Just as an appreciative gesture. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Fraud/Third fraudborn 2009-07-04 12:22 am UTC (link)
	Aww, that's sweet! I might let you, I guess. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Fraud/Third third_eye 2009-07-04 12:39 am UTC (link)
	Don't push your luck. The good Third giveth and the good Third taketh away. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Fraud/Third fraudborn 2009-07-04 12:41 am UTC (link)
	I don't think you're quite at the 'divine' level yet, Junior. p.s only Evil Third would take away blowjobs. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Fraud/Third third_eye 2009-07-04 12:43 am UTC (link)
	Let he who is divine cast the first stone, or something. Yes, well, Evil Third also rapes children, apparently, so don't sound so surprised. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Fraud/Third fraudborn 2009-07-04 12:45 am UTC (link)
	Please don't write the Books of Third. Nobody blames you. Maybe they were seductively sucking their lollypops or something. I've heard they do that. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Fraud/Third third_eye 2009-07-04 12:47 am UTC (link)
	That is an amazing idea. Hang on, I'm pulling up a Word document. See, this is why you're worse than meta-Hitler. Shit like this. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Fraud/Third fraudborn 2009-07-04 12:49 am UTC (link)
	WHAT HAVE I DONE .... WHAT SHIT? (Reply to this) (Parent)